Favorable Emotions are Critical in Overcoming Loss of a Loved One

searches on bad emotions mainly on bad emotions, such as depression, anxiety, anger, and guilt. What about positive emotions, such as gratitude, pride, hope, and love?

Following the death of a loved one, how usual is it for survivors to experience constructive emotions? If such emotions occur, how do they alter the coping process?

Positive emotions are surprisingly prevalent among the bereaved, even relatively soon after the loss. In one study on coping with the loss of an infant to SIDS, nearly half of the parents were experiencing positive emotions three months after the death.

Positive emotions need not be intense or prolonged to produce beneficial effects. Mourners with just a minimal amount of positive emotions and a great deal of negative emotion do better than those with no positive emotions at all.

Negative and positive emotions are independent of one another, and co-occur along side of one another.

Positive emotions play a role in regulating depression and other negative emotions that are associated with grief.

Those who show more positive emotions in the first few months following the loss are likely to exhibit less grief and distress in the future.

Shifting mourners' focus from negative emotions to positive ones provides a psychological break or respite, and also allows them to replenish their resources.

Positive emotions can improve the way people cope with their loss. As a result of gaining some distance from negative emotions and being restored and replenished by positive emotions, mourners are more able to focus their attention on the tasks that are most important to them and make progress on these tasks.

It is more difficult to experience positive emotions following some kinds of loss than others. For example, those whose loved one dies unexpectedly are likely to show lower levels of positive emotion than those whose loved one's death was expected.

Available evidence suggests that it is indeed possible for the bereaved to enhance their positive emotions. Two approaches for enhancing positive emotions are engagement and focusing on what matters now.

Many studies have shown that becoming involved in activities that engage one's interests is quite effect in enhancing positive emotions. Cognitive and behavioral interventions for depression have often relied on this approach. Being involved in an engaging activity can break the grip of negative thoughts, at least temporarily. Examples of engaging activities include going shopping, attending a sporting event with a friend, taking your dog for a walk, or going to the library. Involvement in an engaging activity will increase positive affect more than involvement in an activity that is less engaging. Experts concur that involvement in just about any activity is better than not being involved. It may be difficult for mourners to become engaged in particular tasks because bereavement is often accompanied by a profound loss of interest in life. A strategy for breaking through mourners' resistance is to encourage them to spend five minutes on a potentially engaging task, and telling them that they can stop after that. Mourners continue with the task once they are drawn into it.